Concise
information on how to plan your military wedding
Every wedding requires special planning, but a military wedding calls for
some specific traditions that may be unfamiliar to a civilian bride whose mother or
mother-in-law did not have to consider such a ceremony.
Marilyn Sharp, wife of Colonel Dan Sharp (retired), gives
this advice on how to smooth the way to a perfect military wedding. "The most
important thing to do is to plan as soon as you becone engaged, and don't feel silly
checking two or three times with the caterer or florist." Mrs. Sharp said that it was
not uncommon to have the wrong flowers and wedding cake end up at the wrong wedding. Part
of the problem with simple services, like hotels, caterers, and florists at the academies,
is that there are so few of them. West Point, for example, has only one hotel in the
nearby town. Many people come each year to West Point for graduation and weddings in June,
so hotel reservations must be made as early as February.
Mrs. Sharp's husband graduated from West Point in 1951 and retired from the service as the
deputy commandant at West Point. Being the wife of the deputy commandant, she helped the
cadets plan their weddings and recalls having attended eight military weddings in one day!
Any enlisted man or officer can have a military wedding in full-dress uniform. Like
anything having to do with the military, there are certain guidelines that pertain to all
military weddings, regardless of wether they are held at one of the academy chapels or in
a civilian church.
A military wedding is a formal affair. Your fiance and his military friends wear their dress uniforms and white
gloves. Boutonnieres cannot be worn on a military uniform. If there are any civilian
ushers, they should wear cut-aways, strollers, black or dark-colored suites. Your father,
if he is not in the military, should do the same.
Invitations to a military wedding read almost the same as those for a civilian wedding.
However, you should include your fiance's rank and branch. For instance, instead of John
Smith, you would put, Lieutenant John Smith, U.S. Army.
The saber arch is one of the things that makes the military wedding so special. During the
recessional, the bridge and groom walk under an arch made by the ushers or designated
saberbearers. This is also the most photographed part of a military wedding. A good rule
of thumb is to have four to six saberbearers in your wedding party: they can serve as
ushers or can be separated from the ushers. It looks nice to have the same number of
bridesmaids as saberbearers, but this is up to you.
Commanding officers should always be seated according to their ranks. Your ushers will
probably, if they are in the service, know how to do this. Other officers may sit
anywhere. The chaplains at each of the military academies have provided a summary of their own specific rules.
United States Naval Academy: Annapolis, Maryland. The following people can be married at
the U.S. Naval Academy Chapel: Naval Academy graduates, active or retired, and their
children; military personnel assigned to Annapolis, and
their children; Academy faculty, active or retired, and their children; and military
personnel retired with pay, and their children who regularly attend the Academy Chapel.
Weddings are scheduled through the senior chaplain's office, which can be found in the
wedding handbook. Weddings can be held Monday through Saturday from noon to 4:00 P.M.
except for the week of commissioning. After the application has been received, you will be
issued a time for the rehearsal and wedding.
During commissioning week, the Chapel is reserved for the graduating midshipmen only. The
scheduling for their weddings is usually different from weddings at other times. For
information on commissioning week weddings, you should contact the office of the senior
chaplain.
Only Naval Academy chaplains will peform weddings in the Naval Academy Chapel, and the
Academy chaplains advice premarital counseling before a couple are married in the Chapel.
If you live far away from the Academy, the chaplains
will suggest a counselor.
The arch of swords, as it is called in the Navy, takes place in the Chapel steps. Since
the Chapel does not supply swords, your party must furnish them.
Music for the wedding is the responsibility of the director of musical activities at the
Naval Academy. Only appropriate sacred music can be used. Soloists and guest
instrumentalists are not encouraged at the Chapel.
Pictures can be taken in the Bride's Room, in the sacristy, and outside the Chapel before
the ceremony. A flash may be used during the processional and the recessional. Pictures
may be taken in the new nave during the ceremony, including the balconies, without flash.
No pictures may be taken in the Chapel after the ceremony unless the weather is inclement.
Flowers for the Chapel are provided by the Chapel Altar Guild. These flowers cannot be
removed from the Chapel after the wedding. Flowers for the members of the wedding party
are the responsibility of those getting married.
Rice cannot be thrown inside or outside the Chapel. Be sure to inform your guests of this
restriction.
There are rooms for last-minute preparations at the Chapel, but at the beginning of the
ceremony everything should be removed from these rooms.
A mininum contribution of $65 should be made to the Protestant or Catholic Chapel. This is
to be paid when you submit your application: it helps to defray the cost of marriage
books, candles, flowers, and music.
United States Air Force Academy: Colorado Springs, Colorado. The Academy has two different
chapels and a different booklet for each.
The Protestant Chapel can be used only by graduates of any military academy and
active-duty military personnel assigned to the U.S. Air Force Academy, and their
dependents. This is an Academy regulation. Chaplains that are assigned to the Academy
normally preside over the wedding, but in special circumstances other clergy may
officiate. Premarital counseling is mandatory for all marriages, beginning at least thirty
days before the ceremony.
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