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| BROWSE THROUGH
WEDDING
SUPPLIES FOR YOUR WEDDING |
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Uniting Jewish and Catholic couples
From Deborah Keck, Founder, ForeverWed.com
Although it is common, many intermarrying couples begin
their wedding plans by trying to find a Rabbi and/or
priest to officiate at their wedding. Some will officiate
at marriages between interfaith couples. The
majority of Rabbis still do not. There are clear
denominational differences: Orthodox and Conservative
Rabbis will not participate. In
the Reform and Reconstruction movements, many individual
Rabbis will officiate.
In general, Rabbis are most interested in working with
couples who see Judaism as a primary force in their home
and family life. If this is the case for you, make that
known to the Rabbi in your first conversation. If,
however, the Rabbi tells you no, remember that the
reasons are not personal. In additional to concerns about
Jewish continuity, most Rabbis explain that they cannot,
in good faith, perform
a Jewish ceremony for an interfaith couple because the
ceremony only has legal standing for two Jews.
A rabbi does not "Marry" any couple; the bride and groom
marry each other by reciting words in Hebrew and English.
"With this ring you are consecrated to me according to the
laws of Moses and Israel". If either person is not bound
by "the laws of Moses and Israel" the contract is
meaningless. A wedding should reflect both individuals, a
Jewish
wedding essentially leaves the non Jewish Partner out.
If you cannot find a Rabbi to officiate at your wedding, I
would discuss your choices with your Priest or his Rabbi.
They will refer you to a justice of the peace, judge,
interdenominational pastor, or another Rabbi who does
officiate at intermarriages.
Rabbi's who do officiate often place certain conditions on
their participation. Few Rabbis will co officiate with
clergy from another religion, or at ceremonies that take
place in a church or include language from the Christian
Bible. The Rabbi you do find to officiate may require
that you take a course on Judaism and/or attend counseling
sessions to help clarify religious choices. Others may
suggest extra premarital sessions, ask couples to join a
synagogue, or even have them sign an agreement promising
to raise their children as Jews.
It is possible to hire a Rabbi willing to co-officiate
with a priest, perform a ceremony in a church, and say
just about anything you tell him. You may decide that a
civil ceremony the best option for you, as many Rabbis
will suggest it. Having a justice of the peace or a judge
officiate may calm family tensions about which religious
tension will
"win." And if you want a ritual that incorporates both
your traditions - or only borrows a few words or customs
from each - you may be better off crafting your own
wedding ritual. Some justices of the peace specialize in
helping couples write ceremonies that are true to both
traditions.
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